That's how I learned to dance

"I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom." 

                                                                                                                                - Bob Hope


It seems life is all about waiting, especially for anyone dealing with infertility or going through the adoption process. Currently, my days seem to be split between waiting for an email and sending a response. I've been reading through some new blogs, because let's face it, some of you just don't update enough.  : )  I've come across a few that have talked about waiting in its various incarnations. One blog is from a birthmother making the realization that the anxiousness she has while waiting to hear from the adoptive family must be similar to how anxious the adoptive family was to hear from her before the baby was born. Note to self: remember how hard it is waiting for that email from her.

Right now, I walk this tightrope of wanting to develop our relationship but not wanting to overwhelm or pressure her. She has said that she is just not ready to talk on the phone yet, so we continue to send emails to get to know each other better. And even though we haven't had to wait more than 10 days between receiving her emails, those are 10 really long days!

Boy, for some reason this is harder to share with you than it has been with my friends and family. Maybe it makes it a bit more real or maybe it is because many of you will truly understand the feelings we are experiencing. We got an email from her a week ago (Friday, February 18) saying she was choosing us to parent her child. The agency is not calling it a match yet, because they would prefer that she speak with us on the phone first. Also, our contact has not had a chance to speak with the agency since then, although she did send them an email. Of course, we are keeping in mind that she has every right to change her mind, and we make sure to share that with our friends and family when talking to them. Fortunately, they all seem to understand the process as we have explained it to them.

I guess I'll keep most of the details to myself a bit longer, at least until we have an official match. In the meantime, I'll take some time to learn a new dance.

Allowing myself to get a bit excited

From updating my list of baby names to scouring the web for Winnie the Pooh nursery bedding, I have been getting just a tiny bit excited about the prospect of being a parent this summer. I also updated our faculty daycare about the possibility of needing them in the fall because I know they need to start making hiring decisions based on the number of kids they will have. My heart skipped a beat when I read the response: "We will save a spot for your baby." Ahhhh!

We continue to have great email correspondence with our contact. She said she has been doing some soul searching to make sure adoption is really what she wants to do, but continues to think it is the best decision. She shared more of her history with us and said how much she likes us.  : )

In the response we just sent, I shared more of my thoughts and emotions, thinking it is time to develop the relationship at a deeper level. I also told her we were ready to talk on the phone and were even ready to come visit. I made sure to point out that we can stay overnight with my aunt who lives nearby. So, we will see what she thinks about that. The past couple of weeks we have heard back from her on Monday night, so I hopefully won't have too long to wait for the next response.

I need someone to pinch me so I can make sure this is really happening!